Years and years of this, this constant writing, typing, computing and God knows whatever else I have used to express my white middle class feelings and thoughts about myself the altered world around me, well I guess it has boiled down to this. pounding away on my shitty laptop, along with millions of other people, expressing themselves in some grand way, some overly-schooled and super-wordy way, in some new age speech or simply in a way that can communicate to everyone.
5 or 6 years ago, I don't feel like being perfect on that one, I moved back from that whirlwind of of WHAT THE FUCK, LA! but prior to my 2nd feeble attempt was something that I thought would never happen because it is honestly that fucking cool. A 6 month affair with a gorgeous 40yr old woman I worked with, o yea and married. It all started with a harmless and honest comment about a shirt she was wearing but within days I was pounding away in her car outside a local bar. We went to hell, heaven and everywhere in between during that bizarre trip I took. The things said, thigns done, all those feelings of give and take on a daily basis, well fuck it.... It was great. Would I do it again? That depends. That depends on what happens now and then...
And now here I am, pounding away again. I'm not always sure what it is I'm trying to say or what I even am fucking talking about at any given time but it's typically to entertain the people reading and to help me move on to the next whatever in my life. I can only be as honest as I want to be but the rest is up to you, the reader.
One day I might realize that I can do more with what I've got but for now I express all this non-sense on this senseless site. Today is still a new day, a fresh day. Tomorrow, again. And so on, you get it, I get it. But for now. Fuck it....
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