My Summer In Review...

Well for starters summer really isn't over so this could be a total fucking nightmareish blog with the potential to jinx things, but who gives a good goddamn shit? Like I said before, summer isn't over until we decide it is and it ain't because tomorrow is suppose to be 90 fucking degrees! Now I like warm weather and shit, ya know something to fuck around in or jerkoff into the sun er something just fucking stupid, but man we've had a shitstorm of humidity. I even saw ice sweating this summer because that humid shit was so recock!

Summer kicked off better than any other summer could of. NO not a blowie in the Lodge shitter. NO not a handy in the women's bathroom at The Carlyle. NO not a jerk session or sexual harassment charge dropped. VEGAS! Yes I said it, mothafuckn Vegas bitches! Memorial Day Weekend I went to Vegas with F.C. for the UFC Fan Expo 2 and did things I don't even want to re-state. I wrote, "FILTH II, The Return of FILTH," which is posted on here along with the original, "FILTH." I can honestly say when I went to Vegas I was on a mission to be a complete degenerate scumbag and do things I would never do. Mission completed!

Somewhere here or there I may have put things from my body into the body of a woman, or several, same nights and different nights. There was definitely a lot of sexuality running through the winds of CROM this summer. Naperville got a fucking taste of what KHAOS and FILTH can do on a Saturday night. That town will never be the same. It was mouthfucked by a shitanko'd night of debauchery.

I ventured down the outskirts of St. Louis to catch my first ever TOOL show. Now some of you know me, some of you kind of know me and some of you KNOW me. I am pretty much obsessed with TOOL, MJK, their style and philosophy on shit and I'm infatuated with the music itself. Basically I suck TOOL's dick. Well I went down there with some good friends and had the most humbling experience of my life. The show was beyond anything I could ever imagine and I am glad I was sober when I saw the show. We ended up at a casino afterwards where I drank Jameson, rocks glass, neat for under $4 a pour, yea BIG like that shit Facebook!

I blacked out at Saddle Up with Bob. That was fun and not fun.

I saw a good friend of mine get married. It was cool and there were a lot of hot chics there.

I saw Johnny Lang at RibFest in Naperville. My friend who is a young sexy female was a drunken mess and yelled the entire time on the bus ride from the show to the parking lot. "I need to pee NOW NOW NOW, STAT STAT. Pull this bus over so I can pee." The 50-something other people on the bus did not appreciate this, however it was funnier than a pig sucking off a European juggler.

I managed to actually work and get things done. New opps opened up for me on the career path and other good things are happening, like sexual encounters with chia pets.

I have finally tainted the Annex Room at work :)

The private room beyond the Annex room was tainted the fuck out of one night!

I jumped in the pool with Stupid Kyle but we still have yet to go boating in the pool.

I rallied and felt no shame.

I got a new roommate who I believe will work out well. He has a dog so I don't need to go buy one now, I'll just use his to walk around and meet hot NCC chics.

I made Tim Curran mow my lawn.

I saw a lot of tits. Mostly good ones and a few "ehh" ones, but tits are tits!

There was a vaginal opening sometime between May and now.

I saw Buddy Guy at The Last Fling in Naperville.

I believe I might be actually making a very small nick of an impact for original music in the Burbs.

Market Days, sour cream cum looking stain, getting swiped, dancing at gay bars...

Out with the old, in with the new!

Cutting people loose who are pointless.

The 3 Best Friends.

Malloy's birthday which I have video footage of.

Bowen vowing that, "one of us has to get a girlfriend or a dog or we are going to end up dead." Bowen got a girlfriend.

Asian Persuasion

That "weird" night that involved 3 strippers, a leash, case of Bud Light Lime, bottle of Early Times and some random guy driving the four of us around for 6 hours trying to find his, "business partner," so he can, "finish a few things," before he, "leaves for a while."

Robert's birthday and the girl we got off of the new craigslist, "backpages.com."

LODGE LODGE LODGE... Sunday Funday, Half-off Wednesdays, Lodge Pool, Lodge Regs, Lodge Employees, Lodge Ex-Employees (Woody!), Lodge Pool Parties, Back Bar ONLY, Napping on the Lodge couch, That one Saturday Night.

And as stated in the song, "Prison Sex," by TOOL... "I've come round, full circle." I purchased tickets to VEGAS for a December trip. I am venturing out there with F.C., KHAOS and Ellie. This is sure to be a completely incredible time.

And to end this sermon of shit, this summer was MINE. I was not cheated and I felt and still feel good about it. This summer was pure FILTH...