The Weirdness of Dating

By Trevor A. Keveloh

Dating, man, what a fawkn crock of shit it can be. I mean, its fun and shit, but we all know its a pile of dogshit for the most part. We all start dating someone, everything is grand and in the end, we hate them or resent them for whatever reason. The most truthful and sad thing about dating, is you won't be with that person forever, you will eventually break up and go thru shit after that. It's the ugly truth about dating. No one dates just one person then marries them then spends the rest of their lives with them, that shit happens to like 1 in a friggin gagillion er summin.
We all date people for the most redic reasons. For the thrill, for the fun, for the comfort, to try and beat the odds, etc. I've dated some treats and I've dated some tricks and I have to say, it's all fawkn weird. Dating is like buying a used car or house or whatever. It's like, "Yea, I know a lot of memories were made up in that shit, but I'm going to make better ones." So you date that muthafawka and make some awesome memories and then you break up and you hate each other for allowing yourselves to go thru all that and in the end, break up and go on a fuck/booze binge with total randoms n shit.
Some people can't be alone, (I won't name names but she's a fawkn terd) so they swing from one relationship to the other. Like a fawkn uglyass monkey on a tree, going from branch to branch, making sure they have a firm hold of the next one before they let go of the current one. It just freaks me out with people though ya know? Like I get cars and houses, I like used shit and I like brand new shit. I like items to purchase with a story, a history a past to tell people that's cool. Like a bar conversation, or dinner with family and or friends, or whatever. Like, "The guy who owned this 79 Trans Am before me used to race this thing all over Joliet in the early 80's and got his first road head in it." You never wana say that about someone yer dating unless it's an accomplishment like, "This chic Im banging has never GUSHED like this before. First time I nailed and I ate that shit, I was all on it like a fawkn Mastro's steak, took my time on it and it oozed like it's never been touched before. That skank kept comin back for more and I treated that piece REAL nice while I spread the wealth and did some work on others. Then one day I decided to date it, later on it tasted like shit, so I threw it to some putz and now he can naw on my scraps." That kinda shit you can get away with, but seriously, dating is just weird. You pull up in some girls vagina like a traveling circus or an Army battalion and yer like, "We are setting up shop here for a while. Prolly not gonna live here forever, but just gonna camp out, eat, shit, piss, fart, get a blowie on occasion, then split and find something better." That's what weirds me out about dating kinda, like how many units have been thru that reservoir?
I don't think dating is wrong, I mean you HAVE to date right? Shit I didn't date for years upon years and just fawked n shit. I don't know how to give an analogy on that other than like, "Hey, lets just bomb that shit and cruise off into the sunset er summin." I enjoyed that no strings attached shit, so much easier. Then one day I got all fucked up with the wrong mindset and more so, wrong fawkn assholes and was like that leader of the battalion general and Im like, "This looks good to bang on for now, lets take a break from bombing muthafawkaz and fawk around in this gully."
Well whatever you take of this one, I don't really care. I was all like walking my dog today and thinking about it. Like these houses for sale like, "Come move in here. The previous owners made some great memories or made some shitty ones. Maybe they had their first kid here, maybe their 16yr old son was a jerkaholic and spooged in every room constantly, but it's OK, buy it." Shit like that get ma, ya know?