Behind The Yellow Door

The significance of yellow roses is based on friendship, to wish someone the best, to compliment a friendship and so on. This past year has been a very eye-opening adventure. I have gained some friends, I have lost some friends, I have strengthened some friendships and I have weakened some friendships. Ultimately it's based on how each of us grows as a person, to and from others, kind of like a vineyard. The way we wrap ourselves through, in, out, around, up and down.
We talk about our "best friends" or "good friends" or in my case, friends vs "friends." I shoot off about some of my "best friends" and each is different in their own way. In this day in age, we are allowed to have more than one. We can have a few because in the end, those few "best friends," may be our only friends. I've spent a lot of time with one of my best friends and I never realized who he was until recently. He is my father. My hero. My blood. My inspiration to go out in this world and live MY dream. He keeps me real and grounded and honest with who I am and what I can do. He is a man of very few words, but everyone of those words its not only though-provoking but sincere and direct.
Thumbing through the ever-growing social media I find myself agreeing more with some and disagreeing more with others and thankfully I am adult enough to be OK with that. But what beats that is having a strong and real conversation with a group of people in a physical face-to-face setting. I enjoy long deep conversations about life, existence, passion, love, hate, music and film. I love to engage in what other people have to say about any and all topics. It allows me to grow as a person if I keep an open mind with anyone I encounter. It strengthens me as a writer and, well, a friend.
Friendships can start anywhere. Accidentally, at work, at the gym, at a show, etc. Then you kind of court those people, hang out, do your best to impress and then ultimately show your true colors and see if they still contact you to grab lunch or dinner. If your phone goes silent and you miss them, Jesus, just call them. Don't get all arrogant and think that they should call you, just pick up your RAD smartphone and do some old school shit and CALL the motherfucker. Or find out what broke the communication line between the two of you and see if it's salvageable.
I remember reading all these cute and silly lil articles in my 20s about growing up and only having a handful of friends, I never and couldn't ever believe it. I was working at a really fun bar, living in cool places, having the time of my life, dating girls and well, you know the rest. I thought to myself, "only boring people have a few friends, I have a ton of friends." Skip to present day and well, they are right. When you look at life, you can really count on your hand how many people will come through for you in the clutch if things ever really got ugly. It's one thing to call someone for a favor, to help move, to crash at their place and so on. But when it comes to a serious fawkn situation, not everyone is going to pull through for you.
Friendships don't have to be with people you communicate with everyday or every week. A true and solid friendship is one that is the cliche of, "picking up where you left off." That simple. If you can just understand that as you grow older and start complicating your life with things, not everyone can hangout and talk on the phone all day and/or night. But the ability to just pick up, call, bullshit and let that person know you miss them or are thinking about them is what a real friendship is all about.
When we walk through this life, we don't always pay attention to what's around us. It's not easy when we are so focused and driven on success and happiness and financial stability. I'm not going to tell you some shit about, "stopping and smelling the roses," we all know what we should do to better ourselves and the people around us, so do it if you think it should be done. And don't bitch out and text or email someone, or even worse, facebook message em, grab your cell phone and call that person. Remind your brain that they still exist outside a computer screen.
Childhood is the time when we learn how to start friendships and unfortunately, lose friendships. You start with your siblings, brothers, sisters and cousins. Then you move outside of the box with neighborhood kids and classmates and shit. When you're a kid, it's so nice and easy. You both like this sport, team, toy, etc and you become friends. Then life complicates it. You get into your teens, cool crowds, drugs, jobs, girls/boys and you gain and lose friends. College hits and it's the same thing but elevated. But that's when you hopefully start to think for yourself, develop your own opinions on things other than sports, teams, jobs, girls/boys, clothes and so on. Then you hit the workforce and you start buying and/or renting and it continues to "evolve" if I may. Then you get married, have kids, or you stay single and date/fawk. That's where life ultimately tests any and all friendships. If you can sustain a friendship with someone that ISN'T about your current life and they live a completely opposite life, that's a true and valued friendship. I've seen too many and been a part of plenty where someone gets married, has a kid or 2 or 3 or a lizard or dog or pet bat and they/we just stop talking or communicating. Maybe every once in a while you shoot them a text, or like their facebook status about something about the past, but you move on, you find new friends with a stronger commonality with your present life and that's that. The events of today are the memories of yesterday so keep them close to your heart.
I personally have been up, way up, in the clouds and down, way down, in the gutter and well, of course I'd love to be way up up in the sky but the reality is, when you land on your own two feet, on the ground, you pay attention to much more than that high of being, well way up in the clouds. Almost like being in love. That feeling is like nirvana, orgasmic, a total natural high that some chase and some steer clear of. Jaded, hurt, obsessed, addicted, whatever the case may be, being in love is incredible for every human. Then there's being content and comfortable which is typically what we all end up doing. It's OK, it's what the majority of people want. To come home after work, throw on sweats, eat and lay on the couch or start making gingerbread houses. I am OK with that, hell I'm more than OK with that. If that's what you choose to do, I support you, as a friend. But if my choice is to go out for drinks on a Friday night, catch a band or party, and stay out late, I hope you keep your finger from waving it at me.
Writing is my friend, my best friend. Writing will never judge me or cast me out or laugh at me. Writing will always be there for me no matter how high in the clouds I am or low in the gutter I am. Rich or poor, writing is here and will always be here for me. This is my passion, this is what I live for, this is what I'd die for, this is what keeps me going. Thanksgiving is this week and it's suppose to be about getting together with friends, family and to literally, "give thanks," to whomever or whatever we want too. I want to give thanks to all of you for reading my shit cuz, well, it means more to me than you think.

Thank You.