My Summer In Review...

Well for starters summer really isn't over so this could be a total fucking nightmareish blog with the potential to jinx things, but who gives a good goddamn shit? Like I said before, summer isn't over until we decide it is and it ain't because tomorrow is suppose to be 90 fucking degrees! Now I like warm weather and shit, ya know something to fuck around in or jerkoff into the sun er something just fucking stupid, but man we've had a shitstorm of humidity. I even saw ice sweating this summer because that humid shit was so recock!

Summer kicked off better than any other summer could of. NO not a blowie in the Lodge shitter. NO not a handy in the women's bathroom at The Carlyle. NO not a jerk session or sexual harassment charge dropped. VEGAS! Yes I said it, mothafuckn Vegas bitches! Memorial Day Weekend I went to Vegas with F.C. for the UFC Fan Expo 2 and did things I don't even want to re-state. I wrote, "FILTH II, The Return of FILTH," which is posted on here along with the original, "FILTH." I can honestly say when I went to Vegas I was on a mission to be a complete degenerate scumbag and do things I would never do. Mission completed!

Somewhere here or there I may have put things from my body into the body of a woman, or several, same nights and different nights. There was definitely a lot of sexuality running through the winds of CROM this summer. Naperville got a fucking taste of what KHAOS and FILTH can do on a Saturday night. That town will never be the same. It was mouthfucked by a shitanko'd night of debauchery.

I ventured down the outskirts of St. Louis to catch my first ever TOOL show. Now some of you know me, some of you kind of know me and some of you KNOW me. I am pretty much obsessed with TOOL, MJK, their style and philosophy on shit and I'm infatuated with the music itself. Basically I suck TOOL's dick. Well I went down there with some good friends and had the most humbling experience of my life. The show was beyond anything I could ever imagine and I am glad I was sober when I saw the show. We ended up at a casino afterwards where I drank Jameson, rocks glass, neat for under $4 a pour, yea BIG like that shit Facebook!

I blacked out at Saddle Up with Bob. That was fun and not fun.

I saw a good friend of mine get married. It was cool and there were a lot of hot chics there.

I saw Johnny Lang at RibFest in Naperville. My friend who is a young sexy female was a drunken mess and yelled the entire time on the bus ride from the show to the parking lot. "I need to pee NOW NOW NOW, STAT STAT. Pull this bus over so I can pee." The 50-something other people on the bus did not appreciate this, however it was funnier than a pig sucking off a European juggler.

I managed to actually work and get things done. New opps opened up for me on the career path and other good things are happening, like sexual encounters with chia pets.

I have finally tainted the Annex Room at work :)

The private room beyond the Annex room was tainted the fuck out of one night!

I jumped in the pool with Stupid Kyle but we still have yet to go boating in the pool.

I rallied and felt no shame.

I got a new roommate who I believe will work out well. He has a dog so I don't need to go buy one now, I'll just use his to walk around and meet hot NCC chics.

I made Tim Curran mow my lawn.

I saw a lot of tits. Mostly good ones and a few "ehh" ones, but tits are tits!

There was a vaginal opening sometime between May and now.

I saw Buddy Guy at The Last Fling in Naperville.

I believe I might be actually making a very small nick of an impact for original music in the Burbs.

Market Days, sour cream cum looking stain, getting swiped, dancing at gay bars...

Out with the old, in with the new!

Cutting people loose who are pointless.

The 3 Best Friends.

Malloy's birthday which I have video footage of.

Bowen vowing that, "one of us has to get a girlfriend or a dog or we are going to end up dead." Bowen got a girlfriend.

Asian Persuasion

That "weird" night that involved 3 strippers, a leash, case of Bud Light Lime, bottle of Early Times and some random guy driving the four of us around for 6 hours trying to find his, "business partner," so he can, "finish a few things," before he, "leaves for a while."

Robert's birthday and the girl we got off of the new craigslist, "backpages.com."

LODGE LODGE LODGE... Sunday Funday, Half-off Wednesdays, Lodge Pool, Lodge Regs, Lodge Employees, Lodge Ex-Employees (Woody!), Lodge Pool Parties, Back Bar ONLY, Napping on the Lodge couch, That one Saturday Night.

And as stated in the song, "Prison Sex," by TOOL... "I've come round, full circle." I purchased tickets to VEGAS for a December trip. I am venturing out there with F.C., KHAOS and Ellie. This is sure to be a completely incredible time.

And to end this sermon of shit, this summer was MINE. I was not cheated and I felt and still feel good about it. This summer was pure FILTH...

September 14th, 8 Years Ago.

8 years ago September 14th my cousin Cory passed away from a heroin overdose. When I got this call I was in the process of helping my sister move into her apartment. I was told that there was an accident with my two cousins and, "one of them didn't make it." Little did I know it was not a work incident but an an OD from a bad cut of heroin bought in the city.

I could not comprehend that they were still heroin addicts. I had spoke to both of them in the past about their addictions to drugs and heroin had come up in the past, but I did not think that it was still an issue. The second I found out my older cousin Cory had passed I brokedown and wept like a child. I could not hold myself together because it was too much of a surprise. I could not stop sobbing and asking why. It was by far the worse day I have ever been through.

Beyond that...

The night before the two of them had OD'd I was talking to Cory. His phone kept cutting out and he kept calling me back on my landline phone. We were suppose to go out and get some beers and hangout. I told them I wasn't in the mood and he kept saying, "I'm buying, don't worry about money bro. Just come out with Jason and me and hangout. It's been a while." I kept saying I didn't want to but if I changed my mind I'd hit them up. They called me a few more times but I never made it out. The next day he died and Jason almost went with him. Jason passed out and fell on his leg in a weird way which cut the circulation off. He woke up in the morning with a swollen leg that ballooned up almost triple the size of his legs. He's not a strong or built guy but he was active because they were both plumbers. Jason woke and saw Cory with foam at his mouth and not breathing. He dialed 911 and they came. He was pronounced DOA. I had saved those voicemails on my phone and I would listen to them in my room in private. Guilt set in.

I fought many demons and still do to this day thinking that I could have prevented it if I had just gone out with them. They knew I was and still AM drug-free, aside from alcohol. I have never touched an illegal drug and plan to never touch one as long as I live. I am also free of all pills, inhalants and other shit.

I never thought I was going to really move on from that experience. Jason lost his brother, I lost my cousin, my family lost a son, nephew, etc.

When I went to the funeral/wake I took it upon myself to write his Eulogy. I wrote it strictly from the heart with swearing, honesty and some tears. To this day I rate that as my favorite piece of work I have ever written because it was pure, 100% from the heart and it was for someone who I loved so much. I have since lost that piece of work but carry it with my tattooed on my chest the number, "14."

My cousins and I were like brothers when we got together. Even my younger brother Darren finally grew up a bit and started to get a shot at the shit we did. Our birthdays all merged so close to each other that it was one after another. Cory-2/2, Jason 3/14, Me 3/23, Darren 3/26. We grew up close but did find plenty of room to fight. In childhood it was over things like toys and clothes. Then it grew to who was who in our re-enactments of the TV show, "COPS." Then it grew to girls in our high school years. The two of them being city boys, moved to Schamburg and then eventually Naperville where they attended the opposite school of me which brought them and my immediate family some unwanted attention. They were eventually nicknamed, "Ghetto and Lil Ghetto." How appropriate for two brothers who practically worshipped TuPac. (TuPac passed away 9/14.)

I never knew how much Cory's death was going to eventually control and ruin Jason's life. After that Jason went sober from everything, even cigs. But it took him less than a year to fall off the wagon and become a fallen down drunk who went on awful drinking binges and eventually became a terrible Meth-head in Seattle. I had moved out West (LA/Vegas) for a second time and Jason thought it was a good idea he moved to Seattle to attempt a fresh start since he had burned almost every bridge in Illinois. He did the same out there but got hooked on Meth. I moved back to IL within less than a year and came to find out about him being homeless, methed out, stealing, pan-handling and so on. I had my fair share of unfortunate times in Cali but that's for a different time. Jason eventually moved back to IL where he lived with my family in our home and he did nothing more than continue to drink. He did and said awful things while hammered off Jager. His apologies never came.

My cousin Cory was always looking out for the youngins. Not only Jason, myself, Darren and so on, but his half brothers and half-sister. He had a great heart but had demons that would not let go of him. He was always willing to babysit, pick them up, take them wherever they needed to go. He would have made a great older brother growing up with them and possibly a father if he had kicked that habit.

Today stands as a memorial and celebration for who Cory was to ME. How he helped me internally and externally. I have finally gotten over the guilt that I put on myself for thinking that I could have prevented his death but that does not mean I still think about it. I use to visit his grave every week for years. I would hang out, talk to him, pour Jager on his grave and throw a Newport 100 on his grave. Eventually I got away from that because I let him go. My dreams of him where few and far between and I began to move on. I still battle with the thought of saying, "o fuck it," and hanging out with them for a few beers. Now all I want to do is say, "o fuck it," and have a few beers with him.

I don't know if he's looking over me or not. I think that he needs to pay attention to his brothers more than me at this point in our lives. But every day I look in the mirror and see that, "14," tattooed on my chest and remember that his death might have prevented the deaths of others. I do not want to preach anything remotely religious but I do believe that his death was a wake up call to others around him who were battling that evil drug heroin.

I might see him again in my dreams or if there is a heaven or hell I may be able to have those beers with him. But as for now I need to stay focused on my life drive myself in the right direction. I will never forget him. I will never forget September 14th. I love you Cory.

Sincerely,

Trevor

Summer Times

What can I say, this summer has been great. I have worked a good amount but I've been given the freedom from my professional and personal life to take off time and do things I've always wanted to do. I saw Johnny Lang, TOOL and Buddy Guy. I missed one concert that could have been a good time but things came up. Working at the bar mainly days has actually been good for me. It gives me a mentality of being grounded yet having the oppourtunities to do things at night like see movies and cold cock people in the face that deserve it. I've also learned who my true and real friends are during certain circumstances.

My blogs I attempt to type are typically fucking up and down as a tricked out ghetto roller coaster bussing kids around at the local carnival run by Hillbillys from Sandwich, IL. There are politics to writing shit and posting it on Fucking Face Fucking Book, so I kind of weave and bob and strike like a coked out Anaconda. I would ultimately like to have my own website where I do what I want to do but that's something in the works. I am certain that I will eventually get that going, but in the meantime I am stuck in ghetto fab world and jabbering on Blogger.

So anyways, this summer has been pretty rawk! I will not state who I had any sexual or non-sexual relations with but I will merely state that this summer has been great. I think getting back to a place I truly enjoy working at is really where my happiness re-erupted. I could say something else that applies here but I will choose a different route and say that my choices made in this exciting life of FILTH have been panning out for me. Kicking the summer off in VEGAS over Memorial Day Weekend was just a goddamn fucking taste of what could have been done. I kept hearing from people about how fast the summer went and I laugh because I believe summer is over when WE decide it is. I know some people have kids or goto school or whatever but if it's 90 degrees out at the end of September I am surely going to be sporting shorts, tees, flip flops and women's shades. Summer is as long or as short as you want it to be. But one too many people keep placing time limits on things, looking forward to the upcoming weekend rather than just enjoying the motherfucking day at hand. Godamn people, I spent a lot of my time in my AC induced house because my allergies left my hobbling around like a one legged Jamacian on a smack fix, at times that is. I was able to get out and do plenty this summer. Every year I want to do more but things pop up and I end up fingering Norwegian girls in the bathroom of Lantern. Eventually we will attack that goal that everyone wants to badly which is a family, golden retriever, 3 bedroom house and a nice lawn mower. But for now enjoy these wonderful fucking days we have. It's so nice to go places and not have to look over your shoulder thinking that your son's math teacher is also at the porn shop looking for BDSM dvd's.