When People Thought It Was The Cocaine...

Last year I went on a crazy weight loss, strength gaining, self-building thing. I really don't know any other way to say it other than a THING. It wasn't some realization or an epiphany or any of that overly exciting shit. It was just kind of like, "I don't want to be fat anymore," (However, I don't mind being chubby.)

I just kind of got sick of being fat and not just fat, but unhealthy. Like my knees hurt, back hurt, was kind of a slob and shit. I was over it. I didn't like how I felt every morning and didn't want to deal with having a heart attack before 40, so I made the conscious effort to lose as much weight as I could.

It started with the idea. I picked a number to get down to. And I stuck to it. I was like a machine. I became obsessed with running, hiking, the gym, massive amounts of water and ESP protein. I was packing in like 140-160 grams of protein a day on average and virtually no carbs and knocked down the drinking to here and there. And when I drank, vodka/sodas and some Jamo. Everything I was doing was working great. I would wake up around 9/10, Pound a protein shake. Walk up to Runyon Canyon. Spend 3hours hiking. Walk down to Ralph's. Get some coconut water, protein bar, maybe some fruit. Walk to LA Fitness. Workout. Head home. Another protein shake. Hit the pool to cool off. Hit the sun. Shower. Go to work. Power down a huge protein meal. Work til 2/3am. Head home. Take some medicine. Go to bed. Repeat.

I did this for months. A good solid 3 months, about 5-6 times a week,or so and I was down from 260plus to 218 and counting. I was a machine and I loved it. I learned a lot about myself. Being alone for hours upon hours and not speaking a word to anyone, including myself. I was so proud of myself after I had to get a few new pair of jeans, tees were too big and I just felt great every day, all day. Even on my occasional morning hangovers, I still got up to sweat that shit out. Didn't care about anything but keeping at the routine. The good people at Happyz noticed and we all talked about all of our workouts a lot. The only thing I was missing was serious weight training, something I recently have been hitting. I was trying to drop the fat then put on the muscle. I was also on a super lean diet so I knew I'd have to change that a bit to really pack on the muscle. However, what I was doing was working and I truly enjoyed it. There was a very intense spiritual side to things. Being in and around nature. Seeing the beauty from a different POV. And the PR's were key. The first time I hit Runyon when I first moved to LA, I couldn't get up the first set of stairs. Total fatboy shit. But after jamming TOOL and saying fawk it, I managed to beat it. Then enjoy it. Then love it. Then own it. I fell deeply in love with Runyon, with walking, hiking, just being outside and embracing that culture. I posted pics and vids of my progression all over social media. Talked and texted with people. I was so damn proud of myself because me, Trevor, no one else was out there putting in the work, every day, all day, making it happen.

And then the haters came to play.

At first it was a strange comment about being broke and what not. It eventually grew into me having a cocaine addiction and it kind of spiraled out of control from there. I was even questioned by my own mother who was worried about me. Rest assured, I showed her pics and vids of my hard work. Spoke with her and explained to her what I was doing was not manageable by a lot of people. She felt relieved, but I didn't. I wasn't upset or even mad, I was thrown off guard that "they" were creating rumors about someone they don't see or interact with and then tried to convince others it was true. I kept quiet or as they say, I took the high road. I didn't feel it was worth it to confront such a ridiculous story. So I just kept hiking, I kept working out, I kept at it. I held my head up high and didn't stop. And it felt good. Better than ever. I was able to defeat my inner self-doubt and even the constant stories that kept coming at me. It felt better than ever to know I can beat em all by just focusing on the goal.

I can't wait to get back to Runyon. To LA. To that world and lifestyle. Indulging in my art everyday. Not giving a shit about anything but killing it everyday, all day, in every kind of way. And when I say "killing it" I don't just mean like being the biggest guy in the gym, fastest guy on the canyon, fattest guy in line at In N Out.

I mean killin it as in, putting it to rest and walking away for good.

Runyon here I come!