By Trevor A. Keveloh
"Trev, leme tell you something. You may not understand this right now but one day you will. When you can't give people free drinks, when you can't hook them up with no covers, when you can't do anything for them, they will be gone. The ones that hang around after all that are your real friends." (MBT)
This may have been the best advice I have ever gotten in regards to the psychology of bartending and in all honesty, it's true. Being on top of my game at a bar and being out of the game working on different angles in life, I have come to realize that the cliche' of only having a handful of true friends is damn true.The beautiful part of this is I have already been through it more than once. I have experienced the, "fair weather friends," that sway from free drink to free drink all over the area and so on. I could take a bartending gig somewhere local and start promoting myself and sure as shit, you know what's going to happen. The leeches expecting free drinks, handouts, shots, no covers will show up out of no where giving you the ole, "O hey man, I haven't seen you in a while, I wanted to stop in. Wana do a shot with me?" That is usually code for, "I want a free shot and I am going to offer you one since I don't want to look like a freeloader." I may be a victim of my own doings of the past, but those days were long ago and I buried them with something that took over and that's called, integrity.
Bartending is looked at by plenty as, "not a real job," because of the hours, mainly cash as pay and lack of insurance/benefits programs that most adults with families require. Completely understandable to the mass looking for that but don't ever think it's not a, "real job." I have worked in every aspect of hospitality, along with corporate America, construction, retail, school system and I am done listing shit, but I have to say that this industry is by far the most complicated when it comes to needing all of your senses working at the same time and at an optimum level. It can be grueling. It can be punishing. It can be awful. It can be fun. It can be exciting. And it is usually worth it.
Since my high school days of throwing keggers than contained more than keg beer, I had a knack for getting people together and socializing around alcohol. I finally learned how to make some cool drinks at an early age or underage and my parties started to turn into more than just beer and shots. I threw in jello shots, mixers, margaritas and cool trendy shots. It was fun and I even turned a profit doing this sometimes. I looked at it in high school like this... There are going to be a number of keggers this weekend. A bunch of guys and handful of girls standing around getting guaranteed headaches and hangovers with keg beer, so let me offer them something different. I threw on a mix of diff genres of music, not just house music or DMB. Then I offered drinks that other parties werent. I kind of took the leap to college parties and bars while I was still in high school. Before ya knew it, I was putting asses in the seats and having dance parties and all kinds of shits. Some of you reading this are gonna giggle cuz yall know what Im talking about :)
Then I bartended. I got good at it, hell I was a natural. Everything came easy to me and I loved it. Something about that energy and constant moving and entertaining people all at once opened up a side to me that was always there, that I honed, that I embraced and spit out onto the world. I loved it, I still do. It's like a natural high to me at times when it's crazy busy, loud, fun and I am just pouring drinks and pushing them out. The excitement is like none other in a job setting. Really...
For my industry friends, making a jump from bartender to manager is never easy. Your equals start to look at you like a threat to their monkey games, the other staff may question your motives and of course, the customers/regulars are going to kiss your ass 10 times more in order to make themselves feel that they are still a part of the, "cool club." It's a difficult, no wait, it's a bitch of a fawkn hurdle to overcome and maintain. Whatever history you have with your clientele will be glorified if and when you make that jump to management. It's tricky as fawk but the best thing to do is get your feet wet and change bars. Get away from the soup kitchen mentality of people always wanting something for nothing. Or hell, get out of the industry all together and be sure to always tip your bartender or server when going out.
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Music
By Trevor A. Keveloh
Music. Whether is be The Beatles, Madonna, Hendrix, TOOL, Rihanna, Elton John or NIN it does something to all of us. Music makes us move, it makes us think, we can literally listen to it anywhere now. We can live out our childhood, we can reenact our teen years, we can embrace our twenties while listening to it anywhere. A bar, club, the gym, home, car, almost anywhere we go, we have music.
What music does to ME is it brings me to another place. Sometimes the past, mostly the present and occasionally the future. But ultimately it makes me FEEL, desire, it makes me love and it makes me think, and on occasion, it makes me HURT. Music is my personal pinnacle of art because you can do so much with music. Some bands are just bands and I will always appreciate that and respect that. But some bands are a fawkn SHOW an entire production. More than just geetars and drums and a singer bleeding his heart out. I love both, I have to admit. I have been in the bar/entertainment industry the past 12 years and I am beyond grateful, actually humble by seeing so many talented artists in the Chicagoland area, Vegas, LA, Phoenix, Miami and so on. It fascinates me.
When I hear a song, a key, a chord or a verse that captivates me, there are times where I go thru an emotional frenzy, there are times I cannot control myself, there are times where I let myself go and become one with the music, and I don't even use psychedelics to do this, I just embrace it with all of me. There are songs that I listen to almost on a daily basis just to calm myself, to build myself, to push myself. Music motivates me to be a better artists, better man and overall, better human. If the song is about hate and destruction, I take in that hate and negativity and I let it fester in me, but I don't spread it like disease. It consumes me for a few minutes and it goes away. I suck it in and blow it out like some purple haze and I move on. The same goes for positive music, same exact scenario. But then there's those certain ones, those handful that I connect with on a level that feels almost inhuman, almost spiritual. I hear, listen, and feel in every inch of my mind, body and soul. It elevates me to a different level of existence.
When I meet someone that feels this deeply about music I want to share experiences. I want to tell them, I want to listen to them, I want to emphasize with them on a grid that may not even need words. To know there are other people who can fall vulnerably into this place are people I want to surround myself with.
And on that note, feel free to add your thoughts, feelings and experiences on this blog.
(In Regards to the song "Reptile," by NIN) (Me)
"There is something incredibly sexy, introverted and inquisitive about this song, this band, this genre of music... Its like opening up Pandora's box, it's like feeding into your sins, it's like ending up places you've always wondered about but were always too scared to visit. It's embracing the darker side of life, experiencing pain and pleasure at once, in a dark lonely room filled with innocence and betray and question... It's life."
Music. Whether is be The Beatles, Madonna, Hendrix, TOOL, Rihanna, Elton John or NIN it does something to all of us. Music makes us move, it makes us think, we can literally listen to it anywhere now. We can live out our childhood, we can reenact our teen years, we can embrace our twenties while listening to it anywhere. A bar, club, the gym, home, car, almost anywhere we go, we have music.
What music does to ME is it brings me to another place. Sometimes the past, mostly the present and occasionally the future. But ultimately it makes me FEEL, desire, it makes me love and it makes me think, and on occasion, it makes me HURT. Music is my personal pinnacle of art because you can do so much with music. Some bands are just bands and I will always appreciate that and respect that. But some bands are a fawkn SHOW an entire production. More than just geetars and drums and a singer bleeding his heart out. I love both, I have to admit. I have been in the bar/entertainment industry the past 12 years and I am beyond grateful, actually humble by seeing so many talented artists in the Chicagoland area, Vegas, LA, Phoenix, Miami and so on. It fascinates me.
When I hear a song, a key, a chord or a verse that captivates me, there are times where I go thru an emotional frenzy, there are times I cannot control myself, there are times where I let myself go and become one with the music, and I don't even use psychedelics to do this, I just embrace it with all of me. There are songs that I listen to almost on a daily basis just to calm myself, to build myself, to push myself. Music motivates me to be a better artists, better man and overall, better human. If the song is about hate and destruction, I take in that hate and negativity and I let it fester in me, but I don't spread it like disease. It consumes me for a few minutes and it goes away. I suck it in and blow it out like some purple haze and I move on. The same goes for positive music, same exact scenario. But then there's those certain ones, those handful that I connect with on a level that feels almost inhuman, almost spiritual. I hear, listen, and feel in every inch of my mind, body and soul. It elevates me to a different level of existence.
When I meet someone that feels this deeply about music I want to share experiences. I want to tell them, I want to listen to them, I want to emphasize with them on a grid that may not even need words. To know there are other people who can fall vulnerably into this place are people I want to surround myself with.
And on that note, feel free to add your thoughts, feelings and experiences on this blog.
(In Regards to the song "Reptile," by NIN) (Me)
"There is something incredibly sexy, introverted and inquisitive about this song, this band, this genre of music... Its like opening up Pandora's box, it's like feeding into your sins, it's like ending up places you've always wondered about but were always too scared to visit. It's embracing the darker side of life, experiencing pain and pleasure at once, in a dark lonely room filled with innocence and betray and question... It's life."
Friday, April 11, 2014
The Weirdness of Dating
By Trevor A. Keveloh
Dating, man, what a fawkn crock of shit it can be. I mean, its fun and shit, but we all know its a pile of dogshit for the most part. We all start dating someone, everything is grand and in the end, we hate them or resent them for whatever reason. The most truthful and sad thing about dating, is you won't be with that person forever, you will eventually break up and go thru shit after that. It's the ugly truth about dating. No one dates just one person then marries them then spends the rest of their lives with them, that shit happens to like 1 in a friggin gagillion er summin.
We all date people for the most redic reasons. For the thrill, for the fun, for the comfort, to try and beat the odds, etc. I've dated some treats and I've dated some tricks and I have to say, it's all fawkn weird. Dating is like buying a used car or house or whatever. It's like, "Yea, I know a lot of memories were made up in that shit, but I'm going to make better ones." So you date that muthafawka and make some awesome memories and then you break up and you hate each other for allowing yourselves to go thru all that and in the end, break up and go on a fuck/booze binge with total randoms n shit.
Some people can't be alone, (I won't name names but she's a fawkn terd) so they swing from one relationship to the other. Like a fawkn uglyass monkey on a tree, going from branch to branch, making sure they have a firm hold of the next one before they let go of the current one. It just freaks me out with people though ya know? Like I get cars and houses, I like used shit and I like brand new shit. I like items to purchase with a story, a history a past to tell people that's cool. Like a bar conversation, or dinner with family and or friends, or whatever. Like, "The guy who owned this 79 Trans Am before me used to race this thing all over Joliet in the early 80's and got his first road head in it." You never wana say that about someone yer dating unless it's an accomplishment like, "This chic Im banging has never GUSHED like this before. First time I nailed and I ate that shit, I was all on it like a fawkn Mastro's steak, took my time on it and it oozed like it's never been touched before. That skank kept comin back for more and I treated that piece REAL nice while I spread the wealth and did some work on others. Then one day I decided to date it, later on it tasted like shit, so I threw it to some putz and now he can naw on my scraps." That kinda shit you can get away with, but seriously, dating is just weird. You pull up in some girls vagina like a traveling circus or an Army battalion and yer like, "We are setting up shop here for a while. Prolly not gonna live here forever, but just gonna camp out, eat, shit, piss, fart, get a blowie on occasion, then split and find something better." That's what weirds me out about dating kinda, like how many units have been thru that reservoir?
I don't think dating is wrong, I mean you HAVE to date right? Shit I didn't date for years upon years and just fawked n shit. I don't know how to give an analogy on that other than like, "Hey, lets just bomb that shit and cruise off into the sunset er summin." I enjoyed that no strings attached shit, so much easier. Then one day I got all fucked up with the wrong mindset and more so, wrong fawkn assholes and was like that leader of the battalion general and Im like, "This looks good to bang on for now, lets take a break from bombing muthafawkaz and fawk around in this gully."
Well whatever you take of this one, I don't really care. I was all like walking my dog today and thinking about it. Like these houses for sale like, "Come move in here. The previous owners made some great memories or made some shitty ones. Maybe they had their first kid here, maybe their 16yr old son was a jerkaholic and spooged in every room constantly, but it's OK, buy it." Shit like that get ma, ya know?
Dating, man, what a fawkn crock of shit it can be. I mean, its fun and shit, but we all know its a pile of dogshit for the most part. We all start dating someone, everything is grand and in the end, we hate them or resent them for whatever reason. The most truthful and sad thing about dating, is you won't be with that person forever, you will eventually break up and go thru shit after that. It's the ugly truth about dating. No one dates just one person then marries them then spends the rest of their lives with them, that shit happens to like 1 in a friggin gagillion er summin.
We all date people for the most redic reasons. For the thrill, for the fun, for the comfort, to try and beat the odds, etc. I've dated some treats and I've dated some tricks and I have to say, it's all fawkn weird. Dating is like buying a used car or house or whatever. It's like, "Yea, I know a lot of memories were made up in that shit, but I'm going to make better ones." So you date that muthafawka and make some awesome memories and then you break up and you hate each other for allowing yourselves to go thru all that and in the end, break up and go on a fuck/booze binge with total randoms n shit.
Some people can't be alone, (I won't name names but she's a fawkn terd) so they swing from one relationship to the other. Like a fawkn uglyass monkey on a tree, going from branch to branch, making sure they have a firm hold of the next one before they let go of the current one. It just freaks me out with people though ya know? Like I get cars and houses, I like used shit and I like brand new shit. I like items to purchase with a story, a history a past to tell people that's cool. Like a bar conversation, or dinner with family and or friends, or whatever. Like, "The guy who owned this 79 Trans Am before me used to race this thing all over Joliet in the early 80's and got his first road head in it." You never wana say that about someone yer dating unless it's an accomplishment like, "This chic Im banging has never GUSHED like this before. First time I nailed and I ate that shit, I was all on it like a fawkn Mastro's steak, took my time on it and it oozed like it's never been touched before. That skank kept comin back for more and I treated that piece REAL nice while I spread the wealth and did some work on others. Then one day I decided to date it, later on it tasted like shit, so I threw it to some putz and now he can naw on my scraps." That kinda shit you can get away with, but seriously, dating is just weird. You pull up in some girls vagina like a traveling circus or an Army battalion and yer like, "We are setting up shop here for a while. Prolly not gonna live here forever, but just gonna camp out, eat, shit, piss, fart, get a blowie on occasion, then split and find something better." That's what weirds me out about dating kinda, like how many units have been thru that reservoir?
I don't think dating is wrong, I mean you HAVE to date right? Shit I didn't date for years upon years and just fawked n shit. I don't know how to give an analogy on that other than like, "Hey, lets just bomb that shit and cruise off into the sunset er summin." I enjoyed that no strings attached shit, so much easier. Then one day I got all fucked up with the wrong mindset and more so, wrong fawkn assholes and was like that leader of the battalion general and Im like, "This looks good to bang on for now, lets take a break from bombing muthafawkaz and fawk around in this gully."
Well whatever you take of this one, I don't really care. I was all like walking my dog today and thinking about it. Like these houses for sale like, "Come move in here. The previous owners made some great memories or made some shitty ones. Maybe they had their first kid here, maybe their 16yr old son was a jerkaholic and spooged in every room constantly, but it's OK, buy it." Shit like that get ma, ya know?
Friday, April 4, 2014
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
42
It all started with an idea, a dream, a way to live my life accordingly. Fantasies and dreams trying to make them come true, living in a wonderland, a world I don't even know. Puppy dogs and ice cream sunshine and rainbows, running horses with beautiful hair flowing in the wind. I don't believe everything I see, read, hear but I do believe what I feel, what manifests inside me. Its not some delusional manic shit, its truth, its instincts, its something telling me to go right instead of left... Its like that Jeff who lives in the basement movie. It all begins to make sense when you allow it to.
Reach up and onward or else you will never get to where you need to go. Be patient but be persistent. There is no blue print for anyone's life unless you stick to some over-fabricated pile of horseshit that you were taught at young age is what you are suppose to do. Do not do what you are suppose to do, do what you want to do, not what is expected or what is told to you.
Live your life the way you want too. Do not let others tell you what is right or wrong as they do not consume the same mound of flesh you do. Be good to people, be honest, be loyal to those who are worthy of this.
Disconnect from the evils of life, the evils of people, the ones who drag you down and hurt you. Surround yourself with people of positivity. People that share the same goals as you.
In this life if you want to dig ditches, dig with price. If you want to clean tables, clean with pride. If you want to be an engineer, do it with pride. Hard work is a lost art an art that has been forgotten by so many recent generations because the people teaching them have too, lost that art.
My goal when I graduated high school has been kicked, spit on, attacked, tortured, shit on, pissed on and so on. But the few have stood by my side and on the way to this road, I've gained a lot of supporters and gained a lot of negativity. Which means breaking ties and continuing to achieve this goal.
My "soul purpose" in this life is to create.
Reach up and onward or else you will never get to where you need to go. Be patient but be persistent. There is no blue print for anyone's life unless you stick to some over-fabricated pile of horseshit that you were taught at young age is what you are suppose to do. Do not do what you are suppose to do, do what you want to do, not what is expected or what is told to you.
Live your life the way you want too. Do not let others tell you what is right or wrong as they do not consume the same mound of flesh you do. Be good to people, be honest, be loyal to those who are worthy of this.
Disconnect from the evils of life, the evils of people, the ones who drag you down and hurt you. Surround yourself with people of positivity. People that share the same goals as you.
In this life if you want to dig ditches, dig with price. If you want to clean tables, clean with pride. If you want to be an engineer, do it with pride. Hard work is a lost art an art that has been forgotten by so many recent generations because the people teaching them have too, lost that art.
My goal when I graduated high school has been kicked, spit on, attacked, tortured, shit on, pissed on and so on. But the few have stood by my side and on the way to this road, I've gained a lot of supporters and gained a lot of negativity. Which means breaking ties and continuing to achieve this goal.
My "soul purpose" in this life is to create.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
The Dating Scene
By Trevor A. Keveloh
Lets kick this off my first stating a few things about myself so you get a bit more of my history, just a little bit. I am in my 30’s, never been married, no kids, YES I’ve been in love, YES I’ve been in lust (many more times) I have lived in 4 states and I’ve have held every job under the sun in my adult life. Everything from an Account Executive, to a teachers aide, to a construction hump, to a restaurant manager to waving a sign outside of a Chinese diner dressed like Karate Elvis. I’ve been flat broke and I’ve had plenty of money in my wallet, bank accounts, sock drawers and wrapped up in things. I’ve dined with the best and I’ve lived on 99cent tacos. So with all the crap out of the way, you can tell I’ve probably met some interesting women in my journey through life. YES, many many many THINGS, a handful of legitimate girlfriends, plenty of one-night stands, FWB program and all the over shit I don’t feel like putting down.
My first girlfriend was in 8th grade and she ended up cheating on me with some guy I knew and I’m pretty sure they banged. I got to 2nd base with her which isn’t cool to brag about since she was not very well developed for her age, however I looked like I was about 18 when I was in 8th grade. I had another girlfriend in high school who cheated on me and I also shared the same girl with 2 of my cousins who were brothers. So you can say that since I was young, I was going after shitheads. If any of you ex’s decide to read my regurgitate shit, don’t get offended, you are just a catalyst in what I am trying to get to which is…The, “dating scene,” has gone to SHIT!!!
Now folks, I get to say what I want on this because, well it IS MY website, so yea. Things are a fucking joke right now. Too many men and women are blatant fucking liars about, “what they want in a husband/wife or bf/gf,” or whatever the FAWK it is they are claiming to want at that point in time. I’m on about 5-10 dating/hookup websites and I swear to shits its all shenanigans, all bullshit, all fawkn lies, everyone on there, fawk even some of my shit is just fawkn shit. I dabble around on Facebook and creep on girls, I follow my tweeps on Twitter and I see who’s who on the major dating websites. It’s all a buncha of bullshit. You hear assholes saying you, “can’t find love in a bar,” which is the biggest crock of shit on the planet. I know plenty of people who found love in a hopeless place and it’s always the one of the other. They were either looking like a motherfucker to find someone or they fell in love randomly and shit. Which brings me to the saddest place to find someone which is where I’ve been since I was 16, online dating. I’m not even going to list all the fucking websites I’ve signed up for to see what the fuck is happening with these people. I know I’m no fawkn Brad Pitt or Colin Farrell or whoever else chics flick their beans too, but I seem to have been attracting women that I just can’t see myself hanging out with outside of pretend interest emailing. I saw this one chics profile and it basically said this, “I am a very sexual person, but I am not a whore. I don’t sleep around but I like to have a lot of sex when I find the right person. Do not contact me if you are looking for a hook up only.” And this fawkn chic, no fawkn lie, this fawkn chic had a picture of herself in a muthafawkn tanning bed TOPLESS but you couldn’t see her titties. Just enough to know she’s topless. It’s like some street vendor selling you the ends of hot dogs rather than the whole muthafawkn hot dog. Just the tip n shit ya know! So this chic says all that in her profile, has a skanky pic of herself in a tanning bed and isn’t looking for a hook up. SHUT THE FAWK UP YOU FAWKN PIG! You piece of shit asshole scum wad whorebag. You fawkn play that shit and NOT expect some dirt bag muthafawka to hit you up for some ass? REALLY! A fawkn picture of your ass in a fawkn TANNING BED? Where the FAWK did you learn to be coy, the school of LOOK AT ME I’M A WHORE! Anyways, that was kind of funny and I considered messaging her to be all nice just to see if she would respond but bitch had fawkn CRAZY eyes so I backed off.
I guess back in the day, before Al Gore invented the internet, people met the old fashioned way. Church, blind dates, friends, work, grocery stores, etc. Lately it seems like the women in my social networks could care less about introducing me to a friend. And I figured out why. Whether or not that female “friend” of mine is single, taken or married it’s the absolute ONE thing I have decided, no matter what, these “friends” always want my attention. Now I am not going to sit here and delegate myself as some freak that thinks I am the only one because this goes for other assholes in my situation. These girls, yes I am going to say GIRLS rather than WOMEN until they prove otherwise, just constantly want mine/our attention. They don’t want us to go and meet someone and have a good time and maybe be happy for an extended amount of time. No, they don’t want that. They are going to say shit like, “why don’t you have a girlfriend,” or, “you deserve better than her,” or, “don’t go looking for love, it will find you.” And ya know what I say to all that, FAWK OFF! Just because you “found” someone, or you are happily (BULLSHIT) single or you are in a relationship and happy (why do you want to hangout with single people if you are so happy) and all that shit? I don’t want to hear your excuses anymore because its all rubbish.
I can be perfectly honest and say YES I have always preferred the single life. This has nothing to do with meaningless sex (to me NO sex is meaningless by the way) or scared to commit. What it has to do with is there is a lot I want in life and it might no coincide with a girlfriend or wife. I want kids more than I want a wife but I know that being silly and nutting in the wrong girl will lead to nothing but problems, so I pull out and spray paint their trampstamps instead or throw a some jellyfish on their bellybutton. But when it’s all said and done, it would be cool to find someone to share cool shit with. I’ve got a lot of “friends” but I have, like most people, a handful of people who I can literally count on if shit got ugly. That’s a whole nother story I will get into on a separate entry. On the contrary to all that dating shit, I have gotten to use to my independency and freedom that I wouldn’t want to disrupt it for the wrong lady because the RIGHT lady wouldn’t, namean? That’s what I’m talking about right there. You find someone you think you can be with, someone that won’t change you, you won’t change them ya know, like the first X months. Then they start asking you to cover your mouth when you chew, or they ask you to be more like the way you use to be, or they start dressing you, it’s all horseshit and ladies do this WAY more then the fellas do. Females have this DNA strand that makes them want to change a guy into someone they want them to be. Then after a year or 2 or whatever of dating, ladies wonder why the guy isn’t the same as when they first met? IT”S BECAUSE YOU FAWKN CHANGED HIM. OMG, it’s like asking someone for directions in a town with 4 streets. Ladies fall out of love with this dood because they changed him into some other dood they thought that wanted, then realize after the breakup that she fell in love with the dood that liked to shit with the door open or play a game of Madden after a shitty day of work.
“Chivalry is dead and women killed it.” Thank you Dave Chapelle for stating that because so many of us men and women believe in this, but each of the sexes will argue on all the whys. Listen women, chivalry is FAR from dead, but when you sit there and mentally masturbate over some dirty rotten smacked out looking rockstar who may or may not be the second coming of Charles Manson, you have to understand. I know I know that we are all attracted to people for different reasons. Inner and outer beauty. Tits vs. Ass. Calves vs. Thighs. Smile vs. Teeth. I get it. But if you are going to trip over doods that look like denim’d out dumpster-divers, you have to expect that the guy that’s trying to bang you while you drip over the douche across the bar is going to think you really are scummy and treat you that way. Guys, you don’t have to dress in a suit like Barney Stinson nor do you have to dress like Nick Nolte on a vodka binge. Just dress the way you want and be yourself, because when you do that, you will attract the RIGHT person. This goes for ladies as well.
I have gotten to the point where I attract girls that look at me like I’m the King of the Lepers and want to be my pal rather than enjoy my semen. It actually really isn’t a big deal. I work around women and I don’t mind them wanting nothing to do with me other than work or having a few drinks, it’s just one less headache to deal with. I rarely meet a woman that stuns me either by beauty and/or brains so it’s rare that I’d even hit on some piece of work. I think I just really KNOW when to bring out the mack-card when I actually meet someone I feel is worth getting to know. And as far as that goes, it’s been a while, shits getting dusty.
I don’t even think people read my shit anymore so this has turned into more of therapy for me rather than creating an audience so I guess I can just say whatever I want since it won’t offend anyone. So maybe it’s not in the cards for me at all or yet. Maybe I just kick back and continue to enjoy the ride and see what comes my way. Lord knows I’ve been doing it so I guess I’ll be doing it a little bit longer. Look all you want, don’t look and let it come to you, either way just enjoy your life. With or without someone next to you, it’s a pretty kickass journey.
Lets kick this off my first stating a few things about myself so you get a bit more of my history, just a little bit. I am in my 30’s, never been married, no kids, YES I’ve been in love, YES I’ve been in lust (many more times) I have lived in 4 states and I’ve have held every job under the sun in my adult life. Everything from an Account Executive, to a teachers aide, to a construction hump, to a restaurant manager to waving a sign outside of a Chinese diner dressed like Karate Elvis. I’ve been flat broke and I’ve had plenty of money in my wallet, bank accounts, sock drawers and wrapped up in things. I’ve dined with the best and I’ve lived on 99cent tacos. So with all the crap out of the way, you can tell I’ve probably met some interesting women in my journey through life. YES, many many many THINGS, a handful of legitimate girlfriends, plenty of one-night stands, FWB program and all the over shit I don’t feel like putting down.
My first girlfriend was in 8th grade and she ended up cheating on me with some guy I knew and I’m pretty sure they banged. I got to 2nd base with her which isn’t cool to brag about since she was not very well developed for her age, however I looked like I was about 18 when I was in 8th grade. I had another girlfriend in high school who cheated on me and I also shared the same girl with 2 of my cousins who were brothers. So you can say that since I was young, I was going after shitheads. If any of you ex’s decide to read my regurgitate shit, don’t get offended, you are just a catalyst in what I am trying to get to which is…The, “dating scene,” has gone to SHIT!!!
Now folks, I get to say what I want on this because, well it IS MY website, so yea. Things are a fucking joke right now. Too many men and women are blatant fucking liars about, “what they want in a husband/wife or bf/gf,” or whatever the FAWK it is they are claiming to want at that point in time. I’m on about 5-10 dating/hookup websites and I swear to shits its all shenanigans, all bullshit, all fawkn lies, everyone on there, fawk even some of my shit is just fawkn shit. I dabble around on Facebook and creep on girls, I follow my tweeps on Twitter and I see who’s who on the major dating websites. It’s all a buncha of bullshit. You hear assholes saying you, “can’t find love in a bar,” which is the biggest crock of shit on the planet. I know plenty of people who found love in a hopeless place and it’s always the one of the other. They were either looking like a motherfucker to find someone or they fell in love randomly and shit. Which brings me to the saddest place to find someone which is where I’ve been since I was 16, online dating. I’m not even going to list all the fucking websites I’ve signed up for to see what the fuck is happening with these people. I know I’m no fawkn Brad Pitt or Colin Farrell or whoever else chics flick their beans too, but I seem to have been attracting women that I just can’t see myself hanging out with outside of pretend interest emailing. I saw this one chics profile and it basically said this, “I am a very sexual person, but I am not a whore. I don’t sleep around but I like to have a lot of sex when I find the right person. Do not contact me if you are looking for a hook up only.” And this fawkn chic, no fawkn lie, this fawkn chic had a picture of herself in a muthafawkn tanning bed TOPLESS but you couldn’t see her titties. Just enough to know she’s topless. It’s like some street vendor selling you the ends of hot dogs rather than the whole muthafawkn hot dog. Just the tip n shit ya know! So this chic says all that in her profile, has a skanky pic of herself in a tanning bed and isn’t looking for a hook up. SHUT THE FAWK UP YOU FAWKN PIG! You piece of shit asshole scum wad whorebag. You fawkn play that shit and NOT expect some dirt bag muthafawka to hit you up for some ass? REALLY! A fawkn picture of your ass in a fawkn TANNING BED? Where the FAWK did you learn to be coy, the school of LOOK AT ME I’M A WHORE! Anyways, that was kind of funny and I considered messaging her to be all nice just to see if she would respond but bitch had fawkn CRAZY eyes so I backed off.
I guess back in the day, before Al Gore invented the internet, people met the old fashioned way. Church, blind dates, friends, work, grocery stores, etc. Lately it seems like the women in my social networks could care less about introducing me to a friend. And I figured out why. Whether or not that female “friend” of mine is single, taken or married it’s the absolute ONE thing I have decided, no matter what, these “friends” always want my attention. Now I am not going to sit here and delegate myself as some freak that thinks I am the only one because this goes for other assholes in my situation. These girls, yes I am going to say GIRLS rather than WOMEN until they prove otherwise, just constantly want mine/our attention. They don’t want us to go and meet someone and have a good time and maybe be happy for an extended amount of time. No, they don’t want that. They are going to say shit like, “why don’t you have a girlfriend,” or, “you deserve better than her,” or, “don’t go looking for love, it will find you.” And ya know what I say to all that, FAWK OFF! Just because you “found” someone, or you are happily (BULLSHIT) single or you are in a relationship and happy (why do you want to hangout with single people if you are so happy) and all that shit? I don’t want to hear your excuses anymore because its all rubbish.
I can be perfectly honest and say YES I have always preferred the single life. This has nothing to do with meaningless sex (to me NO sex is meaningless by the way) or scared to commit. What it has to do with is there is a lot I want in life and it might no coincide with a girlfriend or wife. I want kids more than I want a wife but I know that being silly and nutting in the wrong girl will lead to nothing but problems, so I pull out and spray paint their trampstamps instead or throw a some jellyfish on their bellybutton. But when it’s all said and done, it would be cool to find someone to share cool shit with. I’ve got a lot of “friends” but I have, like most people, a handful of people who I can literally count on if shit got ugly. That’s a whole nother story I will get into on a separate entry. On the contrary to all that dating shit, I have gotten to use to my independency and freedom that I wouldn’t want to disrupt it for the wrong lady because the RIGHT lady wouldn’t, namean? That’s what I’m talking about right there. You find someone you think you can be with, someone that won’t change you, you won’t change them ya know, like the first X months. Then they start asking you to cover your mouth when you chew, or they ask you to be more like the way you use to be, or they start dressing you, it’s all horseshit and ladies do this WAY more then the fellas do. Females have this DNA strand that makes them want to change a guy into someone they want them to be. Then after a year or 2 or whatever of dating, ladies wonder why the guy isn’t the same as when they first met? IT”S BECAUSE YOU FAWKN CHANGED HIM. OMG, it’s like asking someone for directions in a town with 4 streets. Ladies fall out of love with this dood because they changed him into some other dood they thought that wanted, then realize after the breakup that she fell in love with the dood that liked to shit with the door open or play a game of Madden after a shitty day of work.
“Chivalry is dead and women killed it.” Thank you Dave Chapelle for stating that because so many of us men and women believe in this, but each of the sexes will argue on all the whys. Listen women, chivalry is FAR from dead, but when you sit there and mentally masturbate over some dirty rotten smacked out looking rockstar who may or may not be the second coming of Charles Manson, you have to understand. I know I know that we are all attracted to people for different reasons. Inner and outer beauty. Tits vs. Ass. Calves vs. Thighs. Smile vs. Teeth. I get it. But if you are going to trip over doods that look like denim’d out dumpster-divers, you have to expect that the guy that’s trying to bang you while you drip over the douche across the bar is going to think you really are scummy and treat you that way. Guys, you don’t have to dress in a suit like Barney Stinson nor do you have to dress like Nick Nolte on a vodka binge. Just dress the way you want and be yourself, because when you do that, you will attract the RIGHT person. This goes for ladies as well.
I have gotten to the point where I attract girls that look at me like I’m the King of the Lepers and want to be my pal rather than enjoy my semen. It actually really isn’t a big deal. I work around women and I don’t mind them wanting nothing to do with me other than work or having a few drinks, it’s just one less headache to deal with. I rarely meet a woman that stuns me either by beauty and/or brains so it’s rare that I’d even hit on some piece of work. I think I just really KNOW when to bring out the mack-card when I actually meet someone I feel is worth getting to know. And as far as that goes, it’s been a while, shits getting dusty.
I don’t even think people read my shit anymore so this has turned into more of therapy for me rather than creating an audience so I guess I can just say whatever I want since it won’t offend anyone. So maybe it’s not in the cards for me at all or yet. Maybe I just kick back and continue to enjoy the ride and see what comes my way. Lord knows I’ve been doing it so I guess I’ll be doing it a little bit longer. Look all you want, don’t look and let it come to you, either way just enjoy your life. With or without someone next to you, it’s a pretty kickass journey.
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